Mothering G

I'm starting this because I need to get it out. I need to have a journal, of sorts. G has aspergers syndrome. There I said it. people who know me know that this is a fact. Part of our lives, part of who I am as a mother. But no one really understands what it means to parent G. To mother G. No one knows what daily life is like mothering a child with aspergers. Its hard. damn hard. And sometimes i feel like I am the only one who knows what that is like. Sometimes I feel alone. Just like I am sure sometimes he feels alone. but the thing about parenting a kid with aspergers is that just when you are at your wits end, just when you think you can not do another day the way things are, there is a moment where you know they get it, and you reached them and helped them get through the one hard, tough, out of control thing they are going through. and you feel re energized,and ready to face the next day. the next meltdown, the next whatever, because you know its worth it. he is worth it.

So, G just turned 12, so Im going to tell you 12 things about G

1 - he has the most amazing eyes i have ever seen, sometimes blue, sometimes green, sometimes a crazy combination of the two
2 - he loves babies. loves them. and babies love him. his band instructor told me when he gets older they are going to hire him as a baby sitter because he is so good with his babies, and they love G
3 - he doesn't do it often, but when he laughs, like really really laughs hard, a good deep belly laugh, it makes me want to do whatever I can to hear it again
4- he loves karate. he has his green belt, hoping to earn purple in the spring
5- sometimes, connecting with him is hard
6- sometimes, connecting with him is easy
7- you never know what kind of day you are going to get, the easy connection, or the hard connection. but I can tell within 15 seconds of him getting out of bed
8- he loves phinneas and ferb
9 - he devours books for breakfast
10 - his favorite color is now and will always be orange
11- he is crazy smart
12 - when he melts in and gives you a good snuggle, it will change your life :)

so there you go.